Annie Maggard

A green/brown-eyed grad student and soon-to-be-archaeologist/sometimes-writer/wannabe-photographer hailing from the lovely industrial/kind-of-hillbilly wasteland of Ashland, Kentucky, who currently lives in the bikeutopia/yuppie-clusterfuck of Fort Collins, Colorado. Has a tendency to drawl long a's and a knack for inappropriate jokes. Loves cooking, hip-hop, flannel shirts, microbrews, owls, knitting, banter, drinking on sundays, and her pickup truck. Devotes inordinate amounts of time and energy to napping and her really ugly dog.

Blogs in an attempt to record/share her overwhelming fascination with/unconditional love for practically everything.

Reading/ Listening/ Watching/ Capturing/ Collecting/ Sharing/

Contact/
Jun 25
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The girls go tubing on the Poudre.

The girls go tubing on the Poudre.

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<rant>

WARNING: Some content and most links NSFW.

There are not many things I hate. But I can confidently, and I mean with absolute confidence, say that I HATE HATE HATE American Apparel. I could write a term paper on this. A dissertation. An entire-fucking-cyclopedia. But I’ll try to keep it short. Plenty of other people have written very eloquent articles about this company’s sexist propaganda, invasive employee policies, and extremely skeevy CEO, so I’ll just put in a few cents.

First off, Dov Charney really loves nipples and masturbating in front of women. He also claims that “women initiate domestic violence, yet out of a thousand cases of domestic violence, maybe one involves a man. And this makes a victim culture out of women.” Here’s the thing, Dov Charney. What makes a victim culture out of women are your snuff-style photos of teenagers between mens’ legs and your you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-me America’s Best Bottom contest. I’m sure, Dov, that your ads are really about sexual liberation and empower the women of our generation. We probably just don’t get it.

According to the company line:

“American Apparel’s ads have always been easily identifiable, standing out amongst our peers and luxury brands alike, and have been instrumental in our success worldwide. Familiar images of employees and friends from around the world—not models—allow us to express the diversity American Apparel is built on and an aspect of authenticity that is often lost in traditional advertising. Our provocative, real, unpretentious aesthetic has struck a chord with today’s young trendsetters, and has drawn us an intensely loyal following, similar to that of Levi’s in the 60’s and 70’s when they were breaking similar ground with an underserved generation.”

But what’s that? Your “clothing campaigns” consist of extremely exploitative objectifications of vulnerable teenaged models that you also happen to be sleeping with? Oh. That’s sort of different. Here’s a wonderful pervy catalog that Dov shares with the entire world wide web. This one’s for socks! Some of the ads I find most offensive (not to mention ridiculous) can be seen here, herehere, here, and here. Oh, and here. I couldn’t even narrow it down! I don’t know where to stop! THE DOG COLLAR AD HAS NAKED GIRLS IN IT

And here’s another thing—it takes a LOT to offend me. Any of you who are reading probably know this. I don’t usually give a shit. But the fact that one guy’s warped ego has convinced an entire generation that “ironic” womanizing is acceptable as fashion (even conscientious fashion!!) absolutely terrifies me. It doesn’t matter if you like the clothes. Nothing about this company or its marketing are okay, but a lot of very smart people keep buying into it for some reason. It’s not art and and it’s not hip. Dov Charney knows exactly what he’s doing and he’s taking us along for the ride. Please, for the sake of 15-year-old cooters everywhere, stop giving this man your money.

</rant>

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\Song of the Day\ Weezer - El Scorcho

Not sure why, but this is my quintessential summer song.

Jun 18
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Jun 17
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First the balloon boy and now Gary Faulkner (would-be bounty hunter of Osama bin Laden)…. I’m starting to wonder whether Fort Collins will ever end up in the news for anything besides being a home to a bunch of weirdos.

Jun 16
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\Song of the Day\ Tony Joe White - Polk Salad Annie

Jun 15
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… This is why the dead should stay dead and why in time the land lies smooth all around them.
— Richard Ford
Jun 11
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My Neverending Luck

So apparently one of the common symptoms of SARDS is incontinence. 

Wednesday wet the bed for the second time this week about an hour ago (approximately 4:30 a.m. MST). I immediately woke up and threw the sheets and comforter in the washer.. Came back to see what time it was. Hrm, no phone. Oh, because it was at the bottom of the washer with the bedsheets. Obviously.

Jun 10
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What&#8217;s For Dinner! (Fair Warning: I Totally Made This Up)
Minted Cream of Carrot and Parsnip with Mango
4 parsnips4 carrots1 cup water 1/2 white onion2 chicken bouillon cubes1 mango1/2 cup sour creamfresh mint
Slice and boil parsnips, carrots, and onion in water and bouillon (salt and pepper to taste) until cooked down. Blend together with peeled and sliced mango and mint to taste. Cool and blend with sour cream.
NOM.

What’s For Dinner! (Fair Warning: I Totally Made This Up)

Minted Cream of Carrot and Parsnip with Mango

4 parsnips
4 carrots
1 cup water 
1/2 white onion
2 chicken bouillon cubes
1 mango
1/2 cup sour cream
fresh mint

Slice and boil parsnips, carrots, and onion in water and bouillon (salt and pepper to taste) until cooked down. Blend together with peeled and sliced mango and mint to taste. Cool and blend with sour cream.

NOM.

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\Song of the Day\ The Roots feat. John Legend - The Fire

A leak from the upcoming album. Swaaitt.

Jun 09
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Keep calm and carry on.
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My goofy, sightless, and still-fantastic dog.

My goofy, sightless, and still-fantastic dog.

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\Song of the Day\ The Flaming Lips - Fight Test (Backyard Bangers Remix)

Sweet little rehash of one of my favorite songs.

I thought I was smart
I thought I was right
I thought it better not to fight
I thought there was a virtue, in always being cool
So it came time to fight
I thought “I’ll just step aside”
And that the time will prove you wrong

Jun 08
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My current pride and joy, a 1977 Motobecane Mirage converted to 52-16 fixed gear (that&#8217;s right, no brakes!) by yours truly. Love love love it!

My current pride and joy, a 1977 Motobecane Mirage converted to 52-16 fixed gear (that’s right, no brakes!) by yours truly. Love love love it!

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\Song of the Day\ Chiddy Bang - All Things Go

Sampling Sufjan’s “Chicago.” I like this fella more all the time.