February 2009
35 posts
Things I Said Last Night, Vol. 3
“I’m sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.”
“This word they use, crunk? I think I am it.”
January 2009
56 posts
Found Poetry
Question everything. Johnny
can’t pick up the pencil.
Someone inherited the earth
today.
— Whiteboard, Clark A205 Lecture Hall
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Recipes for Really Poor People
Got the end-of-the-month blues? Fret no longer.
You’ll find below one of many recipes I’ve made on a budget. And by budget, I mean two dollars. I don’t guarantee any nutritional value, but you probably won’t starve. I’m sure these will become a regular feature here on anniemaggard.com, because I’m regularly really poor.
Corn ‘n’ Eggs
1 can...
Dude
Not to get too brahhh on you guys, but sometimes the existence of the moon really freaks me out.
Photo taken from Apollo 11, 1969 (LIFE).
It’s like… long-johns-o-clock around here.
– Precious Catherine
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1) trackstand
2) no hands
3) cold war kids playing in background
BAMF
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Happy Inauguration Day!!! →
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I’ve been putting saltines on weird things.
Like spaghetti.
And lettuce.
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Things I Said Last Night, Vol. II
“I’m pre-partying. For the inauguration.”
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Anyone who tools around and can’t decide that you are pretty much 76...
– Ben Sheene (The Prophet)
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Journey to the Land of the Jackalope
I took a road trip to Wyoming. The drive was bright and gusty and wide-open. I was greeted at Carpe Diem Ranch by two slobbering dogs and one beautiful Morgan. There was a giant moon, steak, beers, jukeboxes, a plethora of stuffed and mounted mammals. We were full. The next morning, everything was sharp and cold and sunny. We explored old traincars and attics, loitered. More sky phenomena and,...
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Me: ewwwww my pants smell like the trailhead!!!
Catherine: words i never wanted to hear.
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Annie Recommends:
Lindt dark chocolate infused with red chili oil.
Just trust me on this one.
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Top Three: Fort Collins Liquor Stores
The first installment of a regular “top three list” feature on anniemaggard.com. Disclaimer: This is an entirely unscientific and totally biased review, based solely on the stores’ proximity to our house, selection of cheap wines for my wino roommate, availability of random cheap beer and/or malt liquor that I decide to embarrass myself by buying, and funny interactions...
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Annie Does Not Recommend:
Wine.
I’ve tried many varieties on many occasions, which have always led me to the same conclusion:
It still sucks.
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Ben: unless someone has a holy hand grenade
Me: hahahahah...wait,....WORMS ??!?!?! god i miss that game
Ben: you played that game?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Me: OF COURSE! what do you think i did in high school?? fuckin studyy???
Ben: oh my god my decade boner turned into a bicentennial boner
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At some point in life the world’s beauty becomes enough. You don’t...
– Toni Morrison, Tar Baby
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